A Week in the Life of a Guard on a Rooftop in Assassin’s Creed

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Day One

What a great job! I moved here from my home village three days ago, and all it took was bumping into one of the hundreds of guards roaming around the city in order to realize that there’s a strong demand for people who are willing to stand around on a rooftop all day. I stood in fields yelling at birds for years…for free! They even gave me a nifty bow and taught me how to sort of nock an arrow. They asked if I knew how to yell, and I told them about the birds and the field, so of course I rocketed right to the top of the list for rooftop duty. I don’t really know what happened to the last person with this job, but they do have me standing in a really big and gross stain most of the day.

Day Two

The city is so beautiful! There are so many people here! They crowd the streets, especially the markets, carrying their baskets or pots full of goods back and forth. I bumped one of the pot carriers on the elbow the other day and she dropped her pot into someone else, which cascaded through the crowd and destroyed ten or fifteen pots worth of goods. No one was happy, but no one said anything. Guards are loved throughout the city! What a great place!

Day Three

I was standing on my rooftop today, and I saw some guy in all white with several swords strapped to him running really fast on the roof across the street. I looked at him for a little while, and I thought about giving him a heads up that there is bird poop and stains and just general detritus all over these roofs, but he was gone so quickly. This city is so vibrant!

Day Four

Saw the running guy again. It is so boring up here! Sometimes when I’m walking from corner to corner on my roof I see another guard really far away. I tried to wave this morning, but he wasn’t facing toward me. I thought to try again the next time I saw him, but he was facing away again. I didn’t bother a third time. Also, I’m wondering where all the goods in the market come from. I see people walking around with stuff, and I see people leaving the city, but I never see wagons coming in.

Day Five

That guy in white keeps running by. Today he ran across my roof, hopped across the street, and then just stoop there. It made me so angry! I nocked an arrow and yelled at him to get down off the roof, and he didn’t, so I yelled really loud and some other guards chased him. They climbed up on the roof and he killed them one by one. Then he walked fifteen feet and jumped off the roof into a pile of hay.

Day Six

I hate that running guy. I hate this job. I want to go back to the field. That other guard still won’t even look in my direction.

Day Seven

[Guard 221 was found dead with a stab wound through his kidney. We found him in the exact same place we have found the previous two hundred and twenty guards.]

Shoutout to Samantha Allen’s “Diary of a Western Videogame Protagonist

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One Response to A Week in the Life of a Guard on a Rooftop in Assassin’s Creed

  1. Day Eight
    I woke up on the same roof not twelve hours after the guy in white had hugged me and I fell asleep for some reason. I guess there is no hurt in standing around some more.
    Day Nine
    The same thing happened. The guy in white walked up and gave me a hug; afterwards I crumpled down and fell asleep. Some hours later I was up again, and no time seemed to have gone by. I suspect something darker at work.
    Day Ten
    Why must this hell go on? This was the true catch of the job – playing out this purgatorial cycle for all eternity. I could not bear it. I walked off the roof, hoping for the sweet embrace of oblivion, but there I was again not ten minutes later. What have I done to deserve this?
    Day Eleven
    YOU’LL PAY FOR YOUR SINS! DIE, INFIDEL! GET HIM! HERE, HE’S OVER HERE! YOU’LL PAY FOR YOUR SINS! DIE, INFIDEL!…

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