What a great job! I moved here from my home village three days ago, and all it took was bumping into one of the hundreds of guards roaming around the city in order to realize that there’s a strong demand for people who are willing to stand around on a rooftop all day. I stood in fields yelling at birds for years…for free! They even gave me a nifty bow and taught me how to sort of nock an arrow. They asked if I knew how to yell, and I told them about the birds and the field, so of course I rocketed right to the top of the list for rooftop duty. I don’t really know what happened to the last person with this job, but they do have me standing in a really big and gross stain most of the day.
The city is so beautiful! There are so many people here! They crowd the streets, especially the markets, carrying their baskets or pots full of goods back and forth. I bumped one of the pot carriers on the elbow the other day and she dropped her pot into someone else, which cascaded through the crowd and destroyed ten or fifteen pots worth of goods. No one was happy, but no one said anything. Guards are loved throughout the city! What a great place!
I was standing on my rooftop today, and I saw some guy in all white with several swords strapped to him running really fast on the roof across the street. I looked at him for a little while, and I thought about giving him a heads up that there is bird poop and stains and just general detritus all over these roofs, but he was gone so quickly. This city is so vibrant!
Saw the running guy again. It is so boring up here! Sometimes when I’m walking from corner to corner on my roof I see another guard really far away. I tried to wave this morning, but he wasn’t facing toward me. I thought to try again the next time I saw him, but he was facing away again. I didn’t bother a third time. Also, I’m wondering where all the goods in the market come from. I see people walking around with stuff, and I see people leaving the city, but I never see wagons coming in.
That guy in white keeps running by. Today he ran across my roof, hopped across the street, and then just stoop there. It made me so angry! I nocked an arrow and yelled at him to get down off the roof, and he didn’t, so I yelled really loud and some other guards chased him. They climbed up on the roof and he killed them one by one. Then he walked fifteen feet and jumped off the roof into a pile of hay.
I hate that running guy. I hate this job. I want to go back to the field. That other guard still won’t even look in my direction.
[Guard 221 was found dead with a stab wound through his kidney. We found him in the exact same place we have found the previous two hundred and twenty guards.]
Shoutout to Samantha Allen’s “Diary of a Western Videogame Protagonist”